Enduring Heartbreak

When I was younger and watched The Three Stooges with my family, I would always cry at the end of the episodes because I would think about the poor set managers that would have to clean up the mess left by the three mischievous men.  In a culture filled with humor at the cost of another, violent movies and music that follows the breakup bashes of Taylor Swift, the idea that someone would cry over a few broken plates during the filming of a comedy is comical in itself.  While I do not tend to get upset about such matters anymore, I do also wonder where the line is between being overly sensitive and callous.  Empathy, I would hope, is a common personality characteristic found in the health care profession, but something that has struck me the longer I have been exposed to the health profession is how seemingly insensitive practitioners can sometimes appear.  Instead of embracing parents after informing them that their child is suffering from cancer, it seems that health care personnel simply regurgitate the diagnosis and move on to the next patient.  I do not want to lump all practitioners in this category as I do know that there are some that do develop relationships with their patients, but my question is how do you effectively practice in a setting where constant heartbreak exists such as the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, deaths from car crashes and loss of babies?  You cannot function in an environment like this if you attach yourself emotionally to every person, but at the same time is emotionally detaching yourself the answer?

These first few months as an occupational therapy student have been challenging not only for myself but also for my classmates.  Enduring Anatomy, fighting the flu and losing loved ones have all been battles we have faced individually and felt collectively.  As a group, we all understood the struggle of studying daily for the next Anatomy assignment.  Additionally, quite a few of us fell victim to the effects of the flu.  But perhaps the hardest thing we have experienced thus far is the death of loved ones.  Although I have not experienced this loss personally since I have started the program, I have witnessed the heartbreak of my classmates as they lose those they hold dearest.  It has been a sadness felt collectively as we all understand, to a certain extent, the pain of death.  Regardless, I have been astounded at how my cohort of thirty-seven students has surrounded and supported each person dealing with this experience.  Money, flowers and food have all been offered.  Extended sympathy and love have been a common offering as well.  I am in awe of the beauty of this group to grow together and embrace each other during these hard times.  Through these few short months, I have glimpsed the true meaning of empathy and seen how quickly you can become a friend and companion through struggles.  While the gifts did not reduce the pain experience, they did embody the support found in the group.

Here is what I think being an occupational therapist is all about.  Showing true concern and empathy is how best to connect with others.  Letting your client and/or peers know that you truly care for them and want what is best for them will facilitate strong relationships and trust.  However, having empathy for another during a tough time does not mean you must endure what they have endured.  In appropriate amounts, empathy is a wonderful personality characteristic as it facilitates a desire to help others.  Nonetheless, it should not become so emotional that you self-blame and take another's sadness on yourself.  Through my peers, I have already witnessed a healthy example of how best to help others cope with tragedy.  It's not brought about through wishing the heartbreak on yourself but rather listening to their story.  I truly believe that health practitioners can be empathetic, listen and show concern for others, without negative results on their emotional well-being.  Healthy empathy involves showing that you are a listening ear and a helping hand ready to serve as needed providing true comfort while enduring heartbreak.